Trump on Trade

Nothing could ever be fine-a

Than Trumped up trade wars with China

     We’ll pull out of NAFTA

     You know that we’ll hafta

With laws soon to be asinine-a.

Thin skin, thick skull

Donald and Brexit's lead Boris
Both think that "Hairstylists adore us."
     The wigs aforesaid
     Just cover a head
With a skull like an ankylosaurus.

Nuke 'em, Donno

Bob Gates thinks that the logic is marginal

To trust Trump with the nuclear arsenal.

     To give him the code

     is disaster forebode.

His tiny finger on the button is farcical.

Ewwwww...

Want a 10? It's not Heidi Klum.
And Huffington rides on a broom
     Jolie's dated too many,
     Carly's homely as any.
His choice - Ivanka, I presume.

Hypocritic oaf

Trump argues that he's for free trade,
But mention NAFTA and get a tirade.
     China makes him mad,
     And South Korea is bad.
But ask him where his clothing is made.

Cleveland Revolt

Trump’s bid for election is jolting

So much that his party is bolting.

     They may stage a coup

     In Cleveland, it’s true –

Fact is, Trump’s the one who’s revolting!

"Pants on Fire" ...again

A “politician” of way too much note

Praised the Scots for their Brexit vote.

     But, oh by the way,

     Scotland voted to stay.

“Pants on fire” for another Trump quote.

The only thing to fear, is fear itself

Trump has phobias, you and I know. 

Xeno-, Islamo-, homo-, and Sino-

     (When you look at his head

      It's malia- to dread.)

But when he thinks of Clinton it's gyno-

Turnberry Trump

Protesters at Turnberry Trump

Object to the bigoted grump.

     Can’t we please just play golf

     Minus modern Adolf?

The Scots have no love for this chump.

Freedom of the Press!

The press corps is perfectly free

To report, if their stories suit me.

     No Buzzfeed or Post

     Press freedom is toast

I rule, Trump says chillingly.

Good Nazi soldiers

The Donald embraces Ann Coulter,

Who gives immigrant folks the cold shoulder.

     "If they're not just like us,

      Put 'em back on the bus"!

Their treatment couldn't be any colder. 

Take note, America

In Scotland with his entourage

Trump congratulated Nigel Ferage.

     The world should note

     That this British vote

Is just part of Trump's racist collage. 

See no evil...

Trump's vitriolic language offends.
He always disdains and condescends.
    He likes to talk smack,
    and minorities, attack.
But his supporters will not reprehend.

Retake on Theatre of Tragedy

From a world leader, how does this sound:

“I get more golfers from a de-valued Pound.”

     Such a comment on Brexit -

     We’ve come to expect it.

Trump’s dim and unsound words still confound.

W? B? St?

A sampling of Trump's favorite pitch:
I know words, and I'm very rich.
    With ACA I'm done,
    And I'll save you your gun,
And Lyin' Hillary is such a *itch.

Reinforcements

Trump’s finally pulled in Chairman Priebus

In hopes that he’ll quiet the tweet fuss.

Getting donors to pay

Is Reince’s forte

He’ll not likely succeed here in C-bus.

Even more descriptive, he was

Build a wall? It's hard to conceive of it. 

And when people call out Trump, gotta' love it. 

     Rep.  Filemon Vela of Texas 

     Essentially told Trump he was feckless. 

When he told him "the wall, you can shove it!"

You're fired!

Lewandowski is so yesterday

His mouth finally got in his way.

     Caputo’s kaput

     Are others afoot?

Sack the Judge?  Hey Trump, there’s no way!

Trump's Brilliant Idea

He wants to arm drinkers with guns.
This even the NRA shuns.
     It’s not clear who he’s
     thinking he’ll please
By lunacy that honestly stuns.

                        by Don Hubin

Don't believe him!!!

Trump is a masterful demagogue. 

He knows words, but he's dumb as a log. 

     "Belgium's a nice town"

     Said the bright orange clown

I'm sure he thinks Dodd-Frank is a hot dog. 

Emergency!

Emergency!  Trump wants your buck

Poor guy must be down on his luck.

     He needs 100K

     By late Saturday

To dispute ads that say he’s a schmuck.

Self-fund his campaign – there’s no way!

He’s figured out how not to pay

     Investors and such

     His workers not much

You can’t trust a word that he’ll say.

His "self-funding" will now come from you

His supporters, the tried and the true.

     His billions will stay

     In his bank tucked away

While you, loyal fans, feel the screw.

Julie C-H

Oh Canada!

If Trump's elected we'll get a wall,
And it will cost us nothing at all!
     Builders undaunted
     will keep out the unwanted.
Canada will stand free and tall.

Tom Wilson

Dead wrong again

"There's still no Muslim assimilation 

Even in second or third generation"

     Says Herr Donald Trump

     But he's such a chump

Pew Research disputes his quotation.

Unqualified

He tells us that he's good at business

But his laborer force will bear honest witness

     They'll  tell you the truth

     The man is uncouth

His ego adds to his unfitness. 

Trump's Eloquence

"I love the poorly educated!"
Trump so eloquently stated.
     He spews so much crap,
     and avoids any flap,
It feels like we're all being baited.

                    by Matt Sexton

Like being your own attorney.

I talk to myself for advice.
My own view of the facts will suffice.
     My position is forming
     About global warming.
I know that there's no melting ice.

Don't bother with facts

Where Trump gets his facts is mysterious.

He comes across as mostly delirious

     After each ugly tweet

     His mouth holds his feet

“Obama loves ISIS”… are you serious?

"Ask the Gays!"

No bigot, the Donald rates praise.

Don’t take it from him, “Ask the gays!”

     This laughable troll

     With no verbal control

Spreads everywhere bleak Trump malaise.

                                by Julie Carpenter-Hubin

Trump's Deals

Trump liked to make a deal, 
he promoted his deals with great zeal. 
     To the voters he said, 
     don't deal with Hillary, deal with me instead. 
You won't believe how good you will feel.

                                    by Gary Hart

Insult Results

There was a man named Trump, 
who kicked his opponents in the rump. 
     He like to insult, 
     it gave a good result, 
and caused his poll numbers to jump.

                         by Anonymous

Make America Hate

America once was so great;

Trump tells us it’s still not too late:
     Just build us a wall
     That’s sufficiently tall,
And thoroughly plastered with hate.

 

                                       by Steve Fink

Played

His abnormally orange complexion,

His hair—a spun sugar confection—
     We think we’re amused,
     But he’s got us confused,
And he’s playing us all to perfection.

                                                      by Steve Fink

The Tragedy for the Republican Establishment

Pity the establishment "R"s

Who for months must deal with their Czar's

    Shameful expressions,

    Yet they can't make concessions

Or announce, "He's not really ours!"

Don Hubin

Beware!

He’s got such bizarrely weird hair

That it’s hard not to snicker and stare;

     But he’s really not funny,

     And he’s got lots of money,

So look out for the Donald—Beware!

Steve Fink

(Dis)r-e-s-p-e-c-t

His last Tweet, I'd like to dismiss it.

Implying Barack was complicit. 

     Trump's trying to reason

     Obama's actions are treason.

But Trump's statements are mostly illicit. 

Full court Press

He's willing to mock a reporter,

And Buzzfeed he'd hit with a mortar. 

     He no longer will host

     The Washington Post.

Megyn Kelly, he'd like to deport her. 

A Game No One Could Win

A Euchre game no one could win,

T’was John, Marco, Ted, and Ben,

     Each player a chump,

     All following Trump,

Who made America hate again.

Kevin O'Conner

The Power of a Trump Tweet

A thousand Muslims cheered in the street!
Obama's documentation? Incomplete!
     Scalia was killed!
     Hillary is unskilled!
It's true, because I put it in a tweet. 

Matt Sexton

No Good Path

Republicans face a real schism

Due largely to Trump’s narcissism

       Stay home, lose the court

       Vote Trump, be a sport

And be guilty of HUGE jingoism!

Fatherly Feelings?

He can make any woman a hater,
cause his favorability to crater,
     It filled many with dread,
     when he actually said,
If she weren't my daughter, I'd date her. 

Matt Sexton

Good businessman? (not so much)

 "I'll make money for you, you will find!"
So investors came forward and signed.
     But the Trump Taj Mahal
     And its stock took a fall.
But his pockets were already lined.

Loser

Trump's Castle and Taj were sublime
But grew ramshackle in a short time.
     His casinos went broke
     Wait - that must be a joke!
The house never loses a dime.

Blow 'em up!

So now it's just Donald and Hillary. 

He'll double down on the people he'll pillory

      Renew his call 

      For a Mexican wall

And for ISIS families, artillery. 

(No) Class

He spews hatred at people en masse,
And he seems to think money means class.
   But money aside,
   There's a truth he can't hide:
The Donald is really an ass.


Don Hubin

What You Won't Learn at Trump University

Wants a wall to keep out diversity

Attacks women with gleeful perversity.

     This is not what you need

     To successfully lead

But you won't learn that at Trump University

Jason Sullivan

Party of Lincoln

The “Party of Lincoln” seems dead

When its candidate’s A. Richard Head—

     A loudmouthed disgrace

     With a bright orange face.

For a “very good brain” can’t vote red.

John Wanzer

Donalds

To the Dons of the world it's a shame
With this man to be sharing a name.
     If this fraud gets elected,
     Instead of rejected,
The rest of us Dons aren't to blame.

Don Hubin

Supports veterans??

He skipped the debates for the Vets.
And all the donations he gets.
   Some funds he’ll divide
   But keep most inside
And use them to license his jets.

Offend Megyn etal

There once was a mogul from Fifth,
who with Megyn created a rift.
   Her questions were leading,
   He accused her of bleeding
And implied Carly needed a facelift

RIP GOP

“We like him, he just speaks his mind!”
His supporters just seem to be blind.
   “If no nomination, we’ll riot.
   the RNC choice, we’ll defy it.”
And the GOP starts to unwind.

Sexist Pig

“Rosie’s such a fat pig, she should diet.
Ugly Carly for Prez, I don’t buy it.”
   A sexist, no doubt.
   His comments are out.
And dating his daughter, he’ll try it.

Ugly man

His color’s like iodine tincture.
His mouth is the shape of a sphincter.
   The size of his hands
   Relates to his Glans.
And his bad hair? I can’t be succincter.

Diversity

To Trump, to offend is a sport.
"If you’re not just like me I’ll deport.
        We’ll build a big wall,
        Cause you’ve got such gall,
To be the judge of me in your court."

 - Wayne Carlson

Judge Not

A woman cannot be a ten
Unless she is busty and thin,
     Orange-haired with a pudge
     Trump ought not to judge--
He does, to his party's chagrin.

-Julie Carpenter-Hubin

Trump Answers

There once was a goofus named Trump
Whose mind seemed to work like a dump.
     Garbage in, garbage out 
     There's no question about
Whence his answers came - straight from his rump!

-Julie Carpenter-Hubin