Q-twits

Let’s make America Q-less.

For Q-twits the truth is quite viewless.

            The guff they espouse

            is meant to arouse

the paranoid, unglued and clueless.

Little d*cks last night in Portland...

 

“Patriots” in trucks on the street.  

Flying Trump flags in a fleet. 

      They won’t get arrested

      Like those who protested. 

All approved by the man with the tweet.

Wisdom of Harriet Tubman

Born black in this red, white and blue.

They’d beat her if ever she flew.

            You only get rights

            if you’re willing to fight.

That is what Harriet knew.

Loser!!!!

Trump must be just chock full of woe
Since millions more people watched Joe!
     Trump spoke three times as long -
     More than 20 claims wrong;
Can’t wait till they go toe to toe!

https://www.cnn.com/videos/politics/2020/08/28/daniel-dale-fact-checks-trump-speech-2020-rnc-fourth-night-vpx.cnn

Inciting Without Insight

He speaks with bile, hate, and bluster

And all the contempt he can muster.
     He thinks he’s the GOAT
     So it’s crucial to vote
To avoid a screwing of cluster.

By Linda Gunther

TRUMP’s MISOGYNY (in Stephen Colbert’s Trump voice)

The Democrat women are nasty,
Especially Nancy Pelosi,
     And Kamala Harris—
     She really scares us,
Even more than the upstart AOC.

By Steve Fink

Like father like daughter

Ivanka says, “Find something new!”

In the middle of Covid. It’s true.

“Can’t find a new job?

You can learn how to rob.

It worked for my father.  Me too!”

Feckless front

The feckless first daughter Ivanka

fell into Lake Minnetonka.

            Like her father before

            she reached for the oar

of villainous Vlad from Lubyanka.*

 

*Lubyanka, Russia – home of FSB HQ

 

GET OUTTA HERE!

Becoming increasingly tired
Of listening to words uninspired .
     Awaiting the day
     When we can all say
Go pack your bags, dude, YOU’RE FIRED!

By Linda Gunther

Ugly Pretty Picture

Melania couldn’t care less

while telling us all to “Be best”.

            This complicit lass

            so oft gets a pass

because she looks good in a dress.

Daddy issues

 Don Jr. you never will rule.

Your father has made you a fool.

            You want some approval?

            Work for his removal.

Or you’ll spend your life as his tool.

Trumpshirts

 The Trumpublican show is grotesque.

 A display of pre-fascist burlesque.

            Using dystopian themes

            to promote his schemes

 And paint a world that’s Kafkaesque.

UNENCUMBERED BY THE THOUGHT PROCESS

You would think that the party of Lincoln

Would have at least one shining beacon.
     But after last night
     We realize their plight:
They’re bereft of serious thinking.

by Linda Gunther

Dear Kellyanne,

 Kellyanne, you are a Creature.

Decency? You’ll never reach her.

            Crawl back under your rock

            and get off of our clock.

Life’s better without you in feature.

RNC Convention Preview

 

People, be patient and strong

with the Trumpian carnage of song.

            For this Cheater in Chief,

            the liar and thief,

comeuppance will come before long!

What about climate or healthcare or social security or the economy or...?

 

To whatever Trump says they’ll conform. 

It seems it’s the current party norm. 

     They won’t state positions

     Or policy decisions. 

So the GOP has no new platform. 

“Penn’s hard to get into...”

 “He’s a liar,” says Judge Maryanne Barry
In a taped conversation with Mary.
      “SATs taken by Shapiro,”
      Was heard on the audio. 
This should be part of his political obituary. 

Sister, Your Honor

"The president can not be trusted."

Says his sister who's more than disgusted.

    Her protests are late.

    He's out of the gate,

Unprincipled and maladjusted.

How to Submit a Limerick

 Contributions are encouraged!  Submit your limerick as a comment to this message and, unless it is even more vulgar or threatening than Trump, we'll post it for you! Please let us know if you want your name listed under the limerick.

Pustulous Oaf

The pustulous oaf called Steve Bannon

sat at the back of a cannon

    aimed at the face

    of the American race

to rig the elections Trump ran in.

Un-Conventional Praise

Fox News said Joe “hit a home run!”
“Joe wows critics” wrote Drudge – how fun!
     The right-leaning press
     Praised Joe’s address; 
Let’s hope it’s a sign that’s Trump’s done.

The Company He Keeps

“They are all good guys” he believes
But in fact they’re liars and thieves.
     They should stay in jail
     (Bannon’s out on bail)
And no one deserves a reprieve.

By Linda Gunther

Convention DNC

The DNC opens its case.

Better angels now enter the race.

We're in the same boat,

so get out the vote!

Change comes with work and through grace.

Another Sad Little Boy

A sad little boy born in Queens
grew up in a family of means.
     He says, "I'm self made!"
     but the rest of us paid
for his limp autocratic machine.

By Cousteau Baer

Missing Obama?

Oh how we miss dear Obama!
With his confident lack of State drama.
     Cause these last four years
     have brought us to tears
with unending crisis and trauma.

By Cousteau Baer

Q'Anon Trumps Truth

Q’Anon’s a movement quite scary.

The President’s not even wary
     Of what it denotes.
     Yet he‘d like to promote
An absurd conspiracy theory.

Trump asks a pillow hawker to find him a cure;
And for this creep, money's the lure.
     Trump thinks he's a meister;
     But we know he's a shyster.
We're in Wonderland now, that's for sure.

A Hero Who Needs No Pardon

To pardon the great Anthony
Is as backwards as backwards can be! 

     But crotch grabber Trump
     Thinks he’ll get a vote bump
By climbing on her legacy.

Say What???

He speaks to the world and the nation
With hyperbole, exaggeration.

     He makes zero sense;
     Most folks take offense
It all just gets lost in translation.

     by Linda Gunther

No common DNA

Tucker and I share a last name, 

But our view of the world’s not the same.

     He’s a race-baiter

     And sexist hater.

Distorting “Kamala” was his aim.

Lots of yachts

The Donald comes out and promotes

The size of the flotilla of boats. 

     “It’s yuge!” he brags

     That group with the flags.

But it amounts to only dozens of votes.

Thank God For A President Who Can Focus on the Important Issues and Will Fight For The Right Showerhead Water Volume...Seriously [1]

Showerheads should have increased flow -
Current limits simply must go!
     His hair matters more
     Than environs for sure;
Which the DoE clearly should know.

Footnote (required, as this is too absurd to otherwise be believed):  

[1] https://news.yahoo.com/us-calls-shower-rules-eased-063856042.html

Go back to Trump tower!

You’ll get cancer from using wind-power,

And there’s not enough force in your shower. 

     That orange-faced fool

     Will change each EPA rule.

He gets more dangerous each passing hour.

He should be afraid...

Poor Trump is afraid of the ticket

Biden-Harris, we are sure to pick it

     He’ll use all his big words

     Nasty fake and absurd

In the end though just whimpers and crickets

(Jeanne Bernhard)

She’s here!!!

Their false claims are meant just to scare us,

But actually they should be embarrassed.

     Invade the suburbs?

     We’re not disturbed.

‘Cause our side has Kamala Harris.

Vermin on the Mount

Trump dreams of his face on Rushmore -
The thought thrills him through to his core!
     George, Abe, Tom, and Ted
     Next to his own head...
Turns a landmark into an eyesore.

Awards Trump Actions

His face should be carved on Rushmore;
Nobel Prize? He’d say maybe four.
     No one’s ever been greater!
     Disagree? – You’re a hater.
Trump’s self-absorbed through to his core.

Lock him up!!!

Trump slowing the delivery of mail

Should be his coffin’s last nail.

     How many times

     Must we witness his crimes?

He and his family should all be in jail.

He’s not one of us...

He’s proven to be such a dork,

This “business tycoon” from New York. 

     He dines on his steak

     While we commoners eat cake

And his cronies share barrels of pork.

7th Inning Stretch

The lying’s becoming intense
My stress level’s getting immense.
     But this much is clear:
     The end-game is near.
Can’t wait for the vote to commence.

     by Linda Gunther

Our Empathetic President 

Not death count per person, he said;
Trump counts deaths per cases instead.
     Let’s get on with our biz
     "It is what it is" -
One sixty one K now are dead.

Total Recall

"Person Man Woman Camera TV"

He spoke those words effortlessly

     He remembered them all!

     He had total recall!

There is no one smarter than he.

                           by Linda Gunther

Why are per capita comparisons important anyway?

When pressed about more people dying,

Trump continued his delusional lying.

     A key phrase of his,

     “It is what it is.”

His lack of empathy - horrifying.

Cases, not Deaths

Listen to the discussion with Swan,

And you’ll know that Trump is a moron. 

     He instructed his staff

     To put cases on graphs. 

That idiot just needs to be gone. 

I Am So A Big Boy President

John skipped my inauguration
An act that deserves condemnation.
     For Blacks, I’ve done more
     Than any other for sure!
And my tantrums deserve an ovation.

Our country needs a correction.

This fall we will make a selection…

     We certainly hope

     To vote out the dope

And that he won’t steal the election!

                      By Linda Gunther

Deluge…ional

The crowds that come see me are huge;
A mix of pal, crony and stooge.
     I’ve so many friends
     They come by the tens!
The arenas are filled – a deluge!

Watching the sunset in a bathtub...

He gave to his aides the direction -

“I want to prolong the election.”

     So they brought him Cialis

     To enlarge his phallus.

Took four hours to make a correction.

Trump’s Back to School Policy

Kids, go back to school – you’ll be fine!
Now Barron – he’ll go on-line;
     That’s different, you see
     He matters to me
Those others, well hell, they’re not mine!